Every year, I return to dust the cobwebs off my humble base on the blogosphere. Every year, I return with a vision of how this year, this year will be different. Every year, I label that vision ‘Operation’, and hope that by naming it so, it will kick the relentless all or nothing switch in my brain into overdrive. I know it’s there, because I use it with just about everything else that I do. Every year, I return with conquest in my blood and first of the year idealism ringing in my ears like a war drum.
And every year, I start with great promise only to stall, fall short, and burn out by no later than March. And every month after, I agonized. How did I allow this to happen? Where did I go wrong? Why can’t I soldier through this as easily as I do everything else? I can do anything I set my mind to. So why do I fail at this, the only thing I’ve ever really wanted to do?
If any of this sounds familiar, peace. You’re not alone, but I have some good and bad news.
The good news is there’s a way out. The bad news is the only way out is through.
Sometimes I forget things that I’ve written and other times, things I’ve written have haunted me. Confronting the Void‘s an odd mixture of both.
If you’re anything like me, The Void is your worst enemy. It’s that first word. First sentence. First sense of crippling self-doubt and failure. Maybe your Void is different because your mileage varies and we’re all triggered by different fingers but I think the heart of it is always fear of failure. Worse, the fear of failing the only thing you’ve ever wanted to do, the one thing you’re supposedly good at.
So I’m here once again to remind myself and whoever may need it: if you never dare to try, you can never hope to succeed.
And She Who Dares, Wins.
So tomorrow, when Operation 2016 goes live, I will strive again.
I will breathe and hope.
And if you’re struggling to make your life, and whatever you wish to make of it, a priority, then I hope you will too.